Thursday, November 22, 2007

The Un-heard Thanksgiving Day Political Statements

With less than a year now from the presidential election, and less than 7 weeks until New Hampshire's Primary, there should be no doubt in anyone's mind that every move, action or word from any of the major candidates will be "spun" in an attempt to gather even one more "point."

In this spirit, I have searched the web, made phone calls, investigated, called in favors, and even bribed a member of a campaign staff or two, to find out what the Candidates are "REALLY" thinking about or doing this Thanksgiving 2007.

Senator Clinton-
Today Hillary Clinton will be having Turkey- although there was a huge debate among the Senior Staff regarding whether this Turkey should be a Tom or a Hen? Would the sex of the bird she chose send the wrong message to voters? Would choosing a Hen alienate male voters?

Later today, the Senator will be releasing a statement- "Turkey's like this will live longer, once we approve my Universal Health Care Plan."

Meanwhile, the Secret Service will be standing guard as Bill Clinton eats a young chick.

Senator Obama-
Senator Obama will be having "soul food" today in a subtle attempt to remind voters that he is.....

Senator McCain-
Senator McCain will be having turkey. As he prepares to carve it, he will look up at the table of guests and remind them that he was "trussed up just like this bird" during Vietnam.

Rudy Giuliani-
Mayor Giuliani's campaign will be releasing a statement today that the Mayor is on his third turkey, and that no Turkey Farm has been destroyed by terrorists because of his leadership after 9/11.

Mit Romney-
Gov. Romney's campaign staff has spent the last several weeks searching for just the right bird. First he has a problem, because the Turkey is the Massachusetts State Bird.

The bigger issue though for the Campaign staff was to find a bird that only had one mate-- after all, a polygamist bird might just remind voters that he is a Mormon.

Senator Thompson-

Senator Thompson will be having traditional southern deep fat fried Turkey. The Senator went hunting for it himself. He came upon an entire flock, and they all dropped dead from the force of the Senator's stare.

Mike Huckabee
Gov. Huckabee will also eat a bird this year. He will release a statement saying that this bird reminded him of how many baby chick's never make their first peep, because of the untold number that are turned into omlette's while still eggs.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, and remember to say a prayer of Thanks for the Men and Women serving our country in harms way this year.


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